Short Reviews

Film

Today I watched three movies I'd never seen before, which is more than I ever have before in one day. Understandably this sounds pathetic, but I also played basketball, finished reading a book, and worked on my bike.

Pan's Labrynth - I woke up knowing I had to see some facists get murked, probably because I had just watched 1984 the night before, so this seemed like a good choice. I didn't trust that damn faun the whole time though. Understandably an award winner.

1984 - While this film is by no means a visual masterpiece, it complements the book well by presenting visuals that uncreative people might not be able to conjure upon reading the book. Interestingly enough, the film was shot in 1984 and the director insisted on shooting certain dates as they appear in the book for that year (imdb). I also learned that 2+2=5.

Slaughterhouse-Five - Another literary adaptation that pales in comparison to the book but offers interesting visual interpretations. The strongest point, I would say, are the transitions between the time travel of Billy Pilgrim. At least If you're a KV fan, check it out so we can talk about it.

Boyz N Da Hood - a very strong social message: pro-safe sex, pro-OE, anti-gangbangin', anti-gentrification - all messages I can support. The climax was too similar to Cooley High, but with revenge.

Music

Animal Collective show - as mentioned previously on this blog, I went to Philly a week ago to see AC at the Electric Factory. The crowd was pretty obnoxious, serving only to permit me to generalize about Philly crowds in general. Similar to the Why? show at the First Unitarian Church, the annoying component of my peers in the crowd were the high-school kids that simply didn't know how to appreciate what they were listening to. I watched a gangly loser practically get his nut while enthusiastically grinding on a girl to "My Girls." Fortunately, this served to split my attention span and annoyance with the ugly fat girls dancing in front of/on me and complaining about the 90% of AC songs they didn't know.

The Streets - Good looks to Alex K. for turning me on to this one man hip-hop act from the UK. It's refreshing to hear new slang, a different accent, and ideas that most of my favorite rappers don't touch on. Do yourself a favour and check'em out yourself.

Rap from the Dirty South - 99% of it fucking sucks. Outkast is the only act I'd consider profoundly great, and I can appreciate what Curren$y has to say. UGK may have a good song for every 50 they put out, but in listening to those 50, there will be so many repeated lines that you'll forget which one you thought was good. I wouldn't be heartbroken if Texas rappers got involved with the Mexican drug violence and were subsequently wiped off the artistic landscape. Or if they OD'd on sizzurp (idiot).

Literature

The Sun Also Rises - Damn, Hemingway always gets me thinking about personal growth; if I were to strive to emulate him (more than I subconsciously do), I definitely wouldn't be a vegetarian. I'd be too busy drinking, big game hunting, following the bull fights, and partying to care about that kind of thing. I decided I'm opposed in principle to bull fights, but I'd still like to see just one for the hell of it. I hope my study abroad experience in Madrid resonates with the Spain setting of this book.

Naked Lunch - I knew William S. Burroughs shot his common law wife before I tried to tackle this book (but after I bought it), so the content of it should have come as no surprise. Not for the lighthearted, unless the lighthearted feel compelled to learn about the psyche of a heroin addict and homosexuality in the most crazy fucking vein (no pun intended).

*LOL*

I immediately feel like an idiot for designating that as the title of the post, and despite the ability to revise it, I'm disinclined to do so due to tire and anguish. Anyway, the purpose of this post is to share with readers the absolutely most funny short story I've ever read - "You Tell Me," by Chuck Klosterman. While Klosterman is highly [personally] regarded as an amazing social/pop culture critic, his piece of fiction had me literally laughing out loud in front of strangers and friends alike. While they questioned why I was laughing, with either disapproving looks or outright questioning, I was too engulfed in the hilarious account of a nonexistent film critic that smokes PCP just to get through his work week to answer their inquiries. I searched for a link online to the story in order to share it with all, but alas I could not find one. I highly recommend purchasing or borrowing Klosterman's IV solely to read this story; as a major bonus, you can read 359 pages of other funny material, in the vein of celebrity profiles, Spin music reviews, and Esquire columns.

The Latest, and Two Opinions

My parents gave up meat for lent, making them pescetarians. Pretty respectable. I gave up pizza, a commitment which I almost forgot yesterday night in Adam's Morgan outside jumbo slice.

The other night I had a dream in which I had a haircut, which is so far from my reality the past 6-8 months that it was pretty out there. It probably had something to do with the fact that 30% of my close friends volunteer the opinion that I need a haircut every time I see them.

It turns out I don't need to have my wisdom teeth pulled over spring break. In turn, I think I'm headed to NYC at some point over the week to hit up Supreme, hopefully some Big East games at Madison Square Garden, and other sick destinations that you couldn't find in DC.

Fiery, passion-filled opinions:
1) The other day at my mentoring/babysitting job the 14 year old I look after was watching a Disco Channel program featuring Steve Irwin and attack dogs. These dogs were dirty; trained to use their sharp teeth and attack humans in the groin?! Sounds pretty fucking awful if you ask me. Dogs are supposed to be man's best friend, and in turn our no-good police force takes them and brutalizes them to be an enemy. Isn't this something the Nazis did? Shouldn't that somehow reinforce how inhumane it is?

2) I was having a discussion the other day with some friends regarding the scene from Jackass where one of the members dresses up like a fairy and then becomes the "meter fairy" urban legend. Our justice system is really stupid and greedy in that this practice is illegal. How can any basic moral code be established if our own laws prohibit us from literally "helping thy neighbor" ? The indisputable root of the problem, as few would like to admit, is capitalism. The same people who pound consumerism into our heads make our laws, which is reflected by the aforementioned policy. After all, it is much more profitable to hand out tickets and ruin people's days than it is to have everyone pay their meter. Screw that

To Call Out Those That Shall Remain Nameless

Well, it truly seems that ole Billy T. is trying to instigate a culture war, ultimately asking for the extermination of hipsters/independent music/alternative thinking. Unfortunately, he only thought about this halfway through - he presents no viable alternatives for most of the shit he loves to attack. For example, I couldn't name a handful of real music fans that would try to replace Pitchfork with JamBase. Pitchfork has a much more extensive online television network, the most up-to-date coverage of the scene, and an opinion that counts for something. When Jet's latest album came out, it's pretty fair to speculate JamBase fans when nuts; Pitchfork offered this opinion on the album, demonstrating a true commitment to artistic progression. Nor could I fathom trading in my domestically made American Apparel gear for some overpriced black North Face jacket that serves only as social camo so I can meet the insignificant sorority sisters that come to my parties. Anyway, addressing this sort of radical and backwards social thought on the part of my contemporary has proven to be wildly unproductive, much like the reading of this blog. I leave you with this awesome music video, featuring the artwork of Shepard Fairey